Amusement Parks, Babies, and Brilliant Plans
by xmenfan33
Summary: After catching up to the kids, and they are dragged home, the teachers must deal with Julian's next big scheme. Book Eleven of the Babysitting series.
1. 101 Amusement Parks

Disclaimer: I do not own X-men Evolution, or any characters aside from Kaitlyn and Debbie/Amanda

**Amusement Parks, Babies,**

**and Brilliant Plans**

_Chapter One_

"_101 Amusement Parks"_

"I'm just saying. It isn't fair! We've been to like 101 amusements parks and haven't seen a single Shrek." Jamie whined from the backseat of the rented van. The Xavier students had abandoned the plane in Florida when Laura thought of the tracking device in the controls. Since then they had been driving a van rented with Logan's credit card.

If someone had thought of Logan tracing their movements by his credit card, they hadn't mentioned it. Instead they all suppressed a groan at Jamie's on going complaint. "You guys just don't get it! Everyone else got to see their hero." Jamie continued.

"Jamie." Rahne finally broke. "We have not been to 101, we've been to three, and where the rest of us saw our favorites was in Florida at Disney!"

"I know but-"

"Shrek. Is. Not. Disney." Julian ground out.

"He's not? But he's a cartoon." Jamie replied, everyone else groaned. They had already had this exact same conversation six times.

With that, Julian and Angelo suddenly remembered that they need the restroom, while Hope pretended to sleep, leaving Laura and Rahne to deal with Jamie. After a silent but fierce paper-rock-scissors completion, Laura sighed; Rahne happily put in her ear buds and turned up the music as loud as she dared.

After a few more moments of silence Jamie began again. Laura tried to be patient, she did, but as Rogue could attest Jamie…was annoying. Finally, when Laura realized that no one was going to help her anytime soon, she silently cursed her boyfriend and turned to Jamie.

"Look. It's like this. There are Disney cartoons, and then there are every. Other. Cartoon. On. The. Planet!" Laura said. "Shrek is the second group."

"Oh…" Jamie replied."…What about SpongeBob?"

Laura screamed as she rushed from the car. She then rushed across the parking lot to the payphone. Probably the sole remaining payphone in North America, and began to dial.

Julian runs at her and tackles his angry girlfriend just as Logan barks out a hello.

"What're you doing?! Do you want to die?" Julian whispers as Logan can still be heard over the line.

_Hello?Hello? This better not be a salesman! If this is a salesman I will hunt you down and end you…and I'll take 6._

Before they can respond, a scuffle can be heard over the line before Remy came on the line.

_I'm sorry, but we are not interested_ Remy said before the scuffling sound returned. Followed by Remy muffled but clearly stating "No. Bad Logan. No Shopping." Before the call was cut off.

The teens stared at the phone with a mixture of horror and amusement, before they climb to their feet and slowly return to the van. In their absence Angelo had returned to the van, and Hope was no longer pretending to sleep, instead she and Angelo were watching on as Rahne attempted to choke Jamie, who had multiplied, and continued to prattle on about Sponge Bob.

"Oh for the love of- Rahne cut it out, Jamie pull yourself together, Angelo, Hope just get in! You just made me the voice of reason! Me! Do you know how crazy that is? I haven't even had ant caffeine in 48 hours! I'm running on fumes here." Julian stated, while shoving the others into the van.

A few minutes of tense silence later, Jamie sniffled and said "I still wanna see Shrek…and SpongeBob."

Rahne screamed and attempted to shove Jamie out of the closed window, while Hope screamed and Angelo egged Rahne on. Laura continued to read her book by flashlight, and Julian's eye twitched. It was a familiar eye twitch; many had seen the exact same muscle spasm on Remy's eye, frequently while dealing with Julian. No one noticed it on Julian though, they were all too busy.

Julian's eye continued to twitch, his hands gripped the wheel, her ground his teeth in frustration. Then Rahne attempted to roll down the window. "That. Is. It. Everyone will sit still and be quiet, no one will make another peep, or I swear by all that is holy, I will turn this van around!" Julian yelled.

Everything descended into silence, and Julian began to relax, when suddenly, and quietly at first, a soft 'peep' could be heard from the back. Julian stiffened, but attempted to ignore it. Soon though it was joined by a second, then third, now louder peep. Julian was counting to ten, just as they always say to do, when a peep came from the passenger seat…occupied by Laura.

Growling, Julian pulled out his cell phone, as he slammed on the breaks and hit the speed dial for Logan. When Logan answered Julian yelled into the phone their location, as Laura attempted to wrestle the phone from him and Remy yelled at Logan not to buy anything.

Finally, Logan broke into the yelling to state calmly. "We know. We're about ten minutes behind you, just stay there."

Julian then hung up the phone, and after removing the keys and shoving them in his pocket, he leaned back and crossed his arms.

"What was that about?" Angelo asked.

"Vacation's over." Julian stated.

They all then sat in silence as they awaited their surely horrifying fate.

Another van pulled up behind them a few minutes later, and Remy climbed out of the passenger side, Logan sat hunched and angry behind the wheel. There was no evidence of anyone else in the van. This was bad. Both Jamie and Rahne knew immediately how bad this was. Because Emma, Rogue, and surprisingly John and Wade, were the ones you wanted to be caught by. Their punishments were usually far more reasonable. Without those four… they were probably looking at grounding for the rest of the year…and probably the danger room too.

Julian dug furiously in his pocket, and had just managed to get a hold of his keys, when Remy yanked open the door and snatched them from his hand. Then in an alarmingly calm voice, Remy stated. "Julian, Laura, get to the other van. You have thirty seconds. And don't even think about running or I will know."

Julian gulped (he had been thinking about running) and nodded as he and Laura climbed from the van and slowly made their way to Logan's.

"I hope you two had fun." Logan stated as they buckled their seatbelts. "Because you will not be going anywhere for a very_ very_ long time."

"What if-?" Laura began.

"Not even to save the world." Logan replied.

Frowning, Julian slouched into the backseat. It was going to be a very long trip home.


	2. Three days later

**Disclaimer: I do not own X-men Evolution, or any characters aside from Kaitlyn and Debbie/Amanda**

**Amusement Parks, Babies,**

**and Brilliant Plans**

_Chapter Two_

"_Three days later"_

They had arrived home three days ago. It might as well have been a lifetime, as far as the teens were concerned. Every morning at exactly four am since they had returned (years ago according to Julian) they had been woken by Wade screaming and pounding on their doors with his swords, while threatening to bring out the guns.

They all doubted that Rogue and Wanda would actually allow the guns. They gave up on Logan and Remy being that sane a few days ago, but they still felt safe with the women. They were moms after all…pregnant angry moms…maybe they should worry after all.

After this frightening wake up call, they were drug downstairs and through the Danger room. Then there were the classes…then the chores. They swore the adults were inventing these chores, after all who really needed the fireplace cleaned in May? Still they did what they were asked, for fear of Logan taking over if they complained.

After the chores were the Danger room, then homework, and finally bedtime. If they didn't know better they would think the grown-ups were trying to wear them out so that they couldn't do anything remotely fun.

~o~O~o~

"I'm not defendin the kid. I'm sayin I understand him. I wasn' much different den him at that age." Remy said as he poured a coffee.

"I don't know. You were a pain in the ass, but you were a lot smarter than him." Logan replied.

"I kidnapped y' favorite student after going to work for a super villain to avoid chores. No I wasn't." Remy replied. Remy never would have reminded Logan of this, had he not been so exhausted, but it had been a long week.

Logan was now glaring at him, with a deep look of concentration on his face. Remy suddenly remembered _**why**_ he never reminded Logan about Before. Remy started to back slowly out of the room, hoping that he could out run the other man.

"Yer right." Logan said. "So. Go talk to em."

"What?! Why me?!" Remy demanded.

"You said it yourself. You were just like him. The way I look at it, I still owe you a coupla beatings. So you go talk to the boy and I let it go and we put this behind us once and for all."

The idea of no longer fearing what Logan would do to him, when he finally remembered that he disliked Remy was appealing. Though it had been two years now, and Logan generally waived off the past… still it was best not to press your luck with Logan. Ever.

"Okay. I do what I can. BUT the boy is very dumb." Remy said.

"I know. That's my point, but I think you may need to actually try to really get it." Logan said, shooing Remy out of the room.

Grumbling to himself about the dangers of speaking with next to no sleep, Remy made his way to Julian's room; he sincerely hoped the boy hadn't done anything stupid today.

Remy knocked and opened the door before Julian answered. The boy had been listening to his iPod and hadn't heard the door, so when Remy appeared in his room he screamed and fell off of his bed.

Fighting hard to suppress a laugh, Remy managed with his usual smirk as Julian collected himself and stood with as much dignity as one can after falling off their bed because someone startled them.

"So. I'm here to talk wit ya bout your behavior." Remy said after the boy had sat back down.

"I already got the lecture…five times."Julian replied.

"This ain't a lecture. Least not bout the Vegas thing."

"What then."

"…When I was your age." Remy began. Julian groaned. This was going to be worse than he thought. The lectures that started like this were always the dumbest.

Remy glared at him for a moment before beginning again. "When I was your age, I was stupid. Jus' like you."

"O-okay."

"I know y' don' believe me, but it's true. When I was seventeen I ran away from home and joined forces with Magneto. Not because he had my sister like Pete. Not because he broke me out of an asylum like Mystique, or because I was bored like John. Or even because my worst enemy worked for the other team like Vic. No I ran away from home, and signed a yearlong evil villain contract, because my father told me to clean the fireplace."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. Then, I met a girl. A girl I really liked, but I didn't know how to tell her that. So… I tried to blow her up, then I kidnapped her."

"What?!"

"Oh, it gets better. Then I was dragged home by my father, who made me miss the most important battle in our history because I was grounded, so I ran away again."

"So, what happened?"

"Somehow the girl forgave me. Girls can be like that, as you know. But Logan still hated me. Then Kaitlyn arrived. She changed everything. Not because she was here exactly, but because I realized I needed to grow up, now you need to find your way of growing up, I don't suggest having a child, because that's a terrible reason to have a baby, but I'm sure you can find something."

Julian had stopped listening, which was frighteningly common for him, at the mention of having a baby. It gave him his next Brilliant Idea. Now if Remy had been aware of the boy's line of thinking, he would have been frightened. However, despite everyone's agreement that Julian was a lot like Remy, they had one fundamental difference.

Julian Keller was an idiot. So Remy was comforted by Julian's agreement to try to change, and walked away happily, while Julian was contently planning his next Big Plan. One that could only end badly for himself and everyone around him; because he, Julian Keller, had decided to have a baby.

Remy headed downstairs and to his room. He needed to check on his wife and kids, and once again apologize to her for that whole kidnapping thing. He arrived as she was putting baby Oli down for his nap. Kaitie was in the sitting room watching cartoons.

"Hi Dadda!" Kaitie said excitedly as she rushed to him.

"Kaitie! How's my princess?" Remy asked hugging his daughter to him.

He decided then, despite his stupid mistakes in the past, he regretted nothing; because of this little girl and his wonderful son and beautiful wife. Telling her she was beautiful when she'd had even less sleep than him, and felt fat thanks to her latest pregnancy would be a bad idea. He did it anyway. Then he went in search of an ice-pack for his eye. Though in hindsight he really should have waited until she came back out of Oli's room instead of yelling it from the front room and waking his son.


	3. They're baaack!

**Amusement Parks, Babies,**

**and Brilliant Plans**

_Chapter Three_

"_They're baaack!"_

Logan had warned them that they would be back, all of them. He had gone as far as threatening that he would not let them back in. Then the kids stole the plane and took off for Vegas. This, among other things, made Logan decide that really they needed more eyes on the kids. This batch was clearly worse than the last one, and with Xavier's sobriety on shaky grounds and the two most frightening teachers on staff distracted by pregnancy, Logan would take what he could get.

The first to return was Kitty and Pete, along with their daughter. They arrived early on a Friday morning, eight days after they had left.

"You were right." Piotr said, dropping his bags. "Illyana is a drama queen."

"What happened?" Rogue asked Kitty.

"Oh,like, it was awful. She complained the entire drive to me parents' house, then like, complained about her room there. Then she like had a total melt down because my mom offered her like ice cream instead of frozen yogurt." Kitty said, throwing her hands in the air.

"Ya. She claimed Kitty's mother was trying to make her fat. Then she claimed that I was on their side. That was just the beginning." Piotr added.

"Yeah,like,then she claimed, like there was no way any sane person would eat their eggs with out sausage. Then she demanded that my father,like repaint the guestroom, because it was blue." Kitty continued with a frown.

"Ya. Then she claimed that sending her to the local high school was an attempt on her life, due to her mutant status. After that she said that we would have been happy if Julian had killed her, and that we never should have rescued her from Magneto." Piotr added with a frown.

The harried couple spent the next fifteen minutes explaining the horrors of enduring Illyana's behavior.

"I put her on a plane back to Russia, and we came here hoping that Logan would let us take out jobs back." Piotr finished. Logan quickly agreed, and Rogue took them to the newly remodeled teachers' wing.

Some of the students arrived next. Paige, Jonothon, Josh, and Victor were almost unnoticed in their return.

"You kids are fine. Yer parents are fools for removing ya, but that ain't on you." Logan said as they stood before him. " Now go pick out a room, and get unpacked, class started in ten minutes."

After classes the trouble started, when the other teens realized the new arrivals would not be joining them in the chores or Dangerroom.

"Hey, how that fair that they get to watch TV while we have to weed the garden?" Julian questioned.

"They didn't off to Los Vegas, then Florida." Wanda replied.

"That's not fair. They do bad stuff too!" Julian whined.

"But they didn't this time, now go weed." Wanda replied, chasing the boy off with a hex bolt to the floor by his feet.

Julian left, but he and Jamie agreed that this demanded pranks against the non-punished…and possibly the teachers. No salesmen or pregnancy tests though, they did learn from that experience.

Jean and Nathan arrived later that day. She was let in quickly, but then Logan demanded an explanation of her return. Jean tearfully began." Oh Logan it was awful! Scott's gone, we had the funeral yesterday. He died in a bizarre tie-related accident!"

"How was Violator killed by a tie?" John questioned.

"He closed his tie in the dresser drawer, then tried to walk away. He then tripped and was strangled. I was in the other room with Nathan, and didn't hear anything." Jean replied.

"Why wouldn't he just stand up?" Remy questioned.

"I-I don't know. I'm sorry. I don't want to talk about this anymore." Jean said. Logan nodded and Kitty led her away to show her the new rooms.

"… Does anyone else question this story? I mean wasn't she the one that became like a giant bird thing and tried to kill everyone before?" John asked. They all agreed, but decided it may be best not to question her further. After all, she had become the Phoenix before.

The final return was Hank. He arrived late that night, but unlike the others, he didn't ask Logan to stay. Instead he simply walked into the mansion, down the stairs, and into his lab, where they found him the next morning.

"What do you think your doing?" Logan demanded.

"Finishing the observation of this sample." Hank replied, with out looking up.

"But why are you here?"

"All of my vacation days have expired, therefore it seemed prudent to return."

"You quit!"

"No. I took time off. I really needed it to, it has helped with my perspective."

"You quit. You gave me a letter of resignation."

"Oh my. I filled out the wrong form. I apologize for the confusion."

"Fine. I'll get you back on the roster."

With that Logan left. The others thought about asking Hank why he really returned, but after Jean and the Rasputins they weren't sure they wanted to know…especially Jean.

So, with their recently swelled ranks, things were looking up for Logan. Everything was returning to normal, now they could just put this whole thing behind them and move on. He had decided. Then he remembered that someone had to tell Emma that Violator died. He was he daughter's Father after all.

He went to Emma and Wade's room and knocked on the door. After a moment Wade answered.

"Hey, is Emma around?" Logan asked.

"Why? Did those kids do something else? Did they release the elves I captured in the garden? If they opened that box and let the elves out they will have to be punished, because it took me almost three days to catch them all and-"

"No Wade. This is not about the kids."Logan interrupted.

"Oh okay. Come on in LOGAN WANTS TO TALK TO YOU! I THINK THE KIDS DID SOMETHING STUPID AGAIN!"

Emma can into the sitting room with a sigh."What happened now?"

"As I tried to tell Wade, it ain't the kids. Emma there's no easy way to say it, so Imma just tell ya. Violator's dead."

"How?" Emma asked.

"I donno. Somethin about a tie."

Emma laughed then, she couldn't help it. Of all the ways for someone to die,a tie related death was just odd.

"Well. Ya took that better than I thought you would. Have a good evening." Logan said, when Emma was still laughing five minutes later, now joined by Wade. Sometimes Logan worried about the sanity of the teachers around here. Then he remembered he had more important things to worry about, like salesmen and babies…and toddlers.


	4. Julian's Plan

**Amusement Parks, Babies,**

**and Brilliant Plans**

_Chapter Four_

"_Julian's Plan"_

Julian had spent the last few hours thinking about how he was going to pull off his 'Have a baby so Logan no longer hated him' plan. Clearly going about this the normal way was not an option. If he and Laura were pregnant, he doubted that Logan would let him live long enough to reap the benefits of forgiveness that babies provided. He knew; Logan was never reasonable about it. Plus he would have to talk Laura into the plan, which was risky, what if she said no?

No. He needed to find a way for him and Laura to have a baby without the danger of death for having a baby. So, after a while, he decided he needed to once again talk to Jamie. As far as Julian could tell Jamie had always been here, or at least he had been here when Kaitie came along, so maybe he would know how the LeBeaus pulled it off.

So, he began his search, first looking in Rogue's office (Jamie was obsessed with going in there for some reason). The LeBeau's suite (which apparently they kept locked, seriously, it was like they didn't trust their students to stay out of there, never mind that Julian had just spent ten minutes trying to get in, the lack of trust was alarming.)Then finally, Logan's office. (Jamie had a tendency to hide in there when Logan was looking for him.) Next he tried the public rooms.

"Hey Paige have you seen Jamie?" Julian asked Paige as he walked into the Rec room. He was tired of searching.

"No." She answered without looking up. She was attempting to catch up on her homework, something that Julian hadn't considered yet.

"Darn it. Where could he be?" Julian asked himself out loud.

He headed out of the room before Paige could respond further. He then tried the kitchen, but Rogue's donuts were unopen on the counter, so Jamie hadn't been there this morning, then the Formal Living room.

"Wait." Julian said out loud to the empty room. "Why would he be in here, no one uses this room."

Then he walked over to Jamie's favorite hiding spot, but Jamie wasn't in the tree. He checked the garage, but there was no sign of Jamie there either, nor was he with Rahne in the pool. With a sigh Julian went back inside and began searching the upper levels.

Julian walked into Jamie's room. "He's not in his room…Where else could he be!?" He then remembered what Jamie's favorite past time was. "You know I probably should have thought of that first."

Julian soon found Jamie trying to lure Kaitie again. Jamie was standing behind a potted plant in the ballroom, dressed oddly, while balloon animals and stuffed toys were strewn in a line from the hallway.

"So what plan is this?" Julian asked, looking around to ensure Kaitie wasn't actually in here. If she was her parents wouldn't be far behind, and then it was time to hide.

"Plan W: Lure Kaitie with a clown suit disguised as Remy. I starting to run out of plans; if her mother wasn't so overprotective-"

"That's great Jamie but I came to ask, where can I find a baby? For me and Laura." Julian cut him off, not really caring to hear Jamie's rant again this week.

"Well you always could just touch. I don't understand completely yet but apparently girls get pregnant that way." Jamie suggested, he had listened when Julian explained it, and he'd believed it too. Yet he found the process to disturbing to actually ever think about.

"I've already thought of that. It won't work Logan would kill me before the baby was ever born."

"Mmm…I have other resources but I want you to promise me something first." Jamie replied, delighted at the idea of a new baby.

"Alright. What is it?"

"Actually it's more of a list of demands. First off I want to be able to play with the baby anytime. Anywhere."

"Alright."

"I mean the full access, like Baby Fishing, Car Chasing, Horseback riding with a Pogo stick, Pirate Bed adventures, even Tree Fishing."

"What's that?"

"It's when I sit in my tree and fish for a baby from it, and then pull it up."

"That doesn't sound bad" Julian said as he thought. _This is never going to happen. Any of it._

"I also want to be able to mess with the baby to make it use it powers and want it to claim the baby did it instead of me. Babies never get in trouble so both of us will get away from it. That's really it."

"Alright we have a deal. Now where can I get a baby?"

"…I don't know."

"I thought you said you have other resources!?"

"I may have been stretching the truth a little. But I'll come up with something, just don't try to buy a baby from the hospital. They're even worse than Rogue, she never called the police on me."

"Alright."

"Where did Remy and Rogue get their baby?"

"Oh! It just appeared one day."

"Well how does that help me!?"

"Hmm…I don't know."

"Wait didn't that vampire have something to do with it?"

"I don't know…"

"Let me think."

_"blah blah blah. I'm a stupid vampire freak blah blah."_

"Darn it think harder."

_"Blah blah blah. I'm a stupid vampire freak blah blah I made the baby for you blah blah."_

"That's it!"

"What!"

"I'll just go ask that vampire to make me a baby."

"Hey I wonder if he takes cash. I can go get one of my own." Jamie didn't really trust Julian to keep his promises. Rogue and Kitty had promised the same thing but when they actually had babies they said something about 'delicate' and 'breakable' and 'alive'.

Jamie ran off to grab his money, while Julian tried to remember if he knew where the creepy vampire lived…or if he knew the guy's name…do vampires have name? Wait! He was pretty sure he saw the vampire hanging out with the talking cat that sometimes was some weird blue lady, who was somehow related to Mrs. LeBeau. He's pretty sure it used to be her pet or something, but if he could find that talking cat, then he could find the vampire. That shouldn't be too hard, after all how many talking cats could there be in Bayville?

"Hey Jamie. I think I figured out how to find that vampire!" Julian said as they snuck past the front gate.

"Really? How?"

"We just to find that talking cat that bugs Mrs. LeBeau sometimes. She knows where the vampire lives."

"Talking cat? Oh I know who you mean, Rogue's mom." Jamie said.

"Wait! Mrs. LeBeau is part-cat? That explains everything." Julian said.

"Yes it does. Wait, explains what?"

"Her moodiness, of course, and here I was thinking that it must be a combination of pregnancy hormones, a horrible childhood , and the traumatic nature of the immersion of her powers. All along she was part cat!" Julian said.

"Oh yeah, I guess that must be it. Cat are horribly stingy with their kittens." Jamie nodded as they headed off in search of a talking cat.


	5. It's quiet, too quiet

**Amusement Parks, Babies,**

**and Brilliant Plans**

_Chapter Five_

"_It's quiet, too quiet"_

Remy and Rogue had just returned from the store with Kaitie and Oli, when Kitty and Wanda came up to them.

"Were the Js with you guys?" Wanda asked.

"No, why, are they missing?" Rogue asked.

"No, they're just quiet." Wanda replied.

"They may be missing, no one has seen them either, including Laura and Rahne." Kitty added.

"Laura doesn't know where dey are? This is bad." Remy said.

They all look at him, and he shrugged, after all Julian could always be found in the presence of Laura. After he said this, the women all paled. Kitty and Wanda run off to find help, and Remy turned to Rogue.

"I think it may be a good idea to take our vacation time now. We've never used it, except for a few days for our honeymoon, which Logan claimed didn't count, so we should have a coupla weeks."

"Yeah, I agree, but we should clear it with Logan, you saw how he was with Hank." Rogue said. "You go talk to him, I'll get Oli down for his nap."

Remy reluctantly nodded, and headed toward Logan's office. He had avoided talking to Logan since the 'go talk to the boy ' thing, partly because he didn't want to be assigned extra work, and partly because after leaving the boy he had a sinking feeling Julian had ignored everything he'd said. The fact that Julian was now missing just solidified this for him, but he didn't want it linked back to him.

Knocking softly, Remy let himself in. Wade was already in the office, talking adamantly about something.

"I'm telling you Logan, It's only a matter of time! What we really need is a doomsday clock so we know how much time we have left! THAT'S IT! I STILL HAVE ONE LEFT FROM BEFORE!"

"Wade, I thought I told you to get rid of them. And you can't calculate our impending doom when it comes to this. It's to fluid!" Logan replied.

"Um, excuse me?" Remy interrupted. He had no idea what was going on, but he didn't want to know, either. Last time he and his wife were sucked into the madness.

"Yes, what is it?" Logan asked.

"I was wonderin, well Anna and I were wonderin if it would be okay to take our vacation time soon? We wanna do it now before she's to big to enjoy it."

"I'll get back to you." Logan replied.

"I'M TELLING YOU, THOSE ELVES ARE GOING TO ESCAPE AND LET THE SALESMEN IN! OUR ONLY CHANCE IS THE POCKET DRAGONS WHICH WE WILL HAVE TO IMPORT FROM CHINA BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT HERE!" Wade interrupted.

"Wade we can't afford the import fees, you'll have to think of something else." Logan replied.

"I'll just come back later then." Remy said as he slipped from the room, wanting nothing to do with elves or dragons. He knew he should mention the Js disappearance, but that may lead to a conversation about the elves.

Rogue, meanwhile had gotten Oli to sleep and was playing quietly on the floor with Kaitie. It occurred to her that soon it would be hard for her to get off the floor again. This led to her wondering if it was fair to her daughter and son to add to their family, thus taking time away from them. Which in turn led her to question if she would have enough time for all three of them, unless she quit teaching. It was then that she burst into tears because she knew that if she told Logan that she wasn't going to be able to juggle teaching full time and three kids he was going to lose it, and possibly re-start his baby apocalypse theory, which she and her husband would get sucked back into it, and they would have even less free time then if she hadn't said anything at all. Now she had no idea what to do, and Kaitie was starting to cry because her mommy was, and Rogue realized that she already was having a hard time getting to her feet at only four months.

This was when Remy came in, and saw his hysterical wife struggling to try to stand to pick up his crying daughter, and that the TV had caught on fire again for the fifth time this month. Remy simultaneously put out the fire and picked up his daughter, then he turned to his wife and helped her to her feet.

"Remy, I'm not a super mom! I can't do everything, I can't even stand up on my own!" Rogue wailed.

Remy, who had not been privy to his wife's line of thinking prior to this was at a loss on how to comfort her, so he said the first thing he could think of. " No one's askin ya to Cher."

"YES THEY ARE! IF I TELL LOGAN I CAN'T TEACH ANYMORE BECAUSE THE KIDS NEED ME HE'LL GO NUTS AND THEN HE SEND FOR NEW COPIES OF THE BOOK AND I'LL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN!" Rogue screamed.

" I won't let that happen. I swear, if starts that madness again, we'll just tell him no." Remy replied while hugging her. " Now why don't you go take a nap, and Kaitie and I will play here with her blocks. That way I can grab Oli if he needs anything."

Rogue, who wasn't actually tired at the moment, just upset over not being able to get up, began crying again. This time out of a combination of frustration that her husband wasn't a mind-reader and because he was always so sweet and willing to take the kids for her. Which then made her cry harder because it made her feel lazy to push the kids off on him. However, when she attempted to explain this, Remy reminded her that they were his kids too, and she worked just as many hours as him. Which then led back to her original issue of Logan not listening. Remy had no argument for this, Logan really doesn't listen, so he did the only thing he could think of, he set up a game of dolls for Rogue and Kaitie to play on their bed so Rogue wouldn't be trapped on the floor again, then ventured out once more, this time to tell Logan his wife was overworked.

Rogue, meanwhile,had decided now that she was not stuck on the floor, felt that she may have overreacted. So by the time Remy had returned, having been unsuccessful in locating Logan, who had somehow disappeared off the grounds now as well as the Js, his wife was once again her usual happy sarcastic self.

"I'm sorry about earlier, I kind of freaked out when I couldn't get up, but I know it was a hormone thing." Rogue said when he came in.

"Its okay, cher, jus' remember in a few months you'll be completely back to normal and ready to laugh bout this." Remy replied with a smile, still intending to find Logan later and talk to him about Rogue's workload…and their vacation.


	6. Locating a vampire

**Disclaimer: I do not own X-men Evolution**

**Amusement Parks, Babies,**

**and Brilliant Plans**

_Chapter Six_

"_Locating a vampire"_

Jamie and Julian walked down Main street, gathering minor attention, but at this point most of the residents of Bayville were use to odd behavior of those known to live 'in the School'. The odd behavior in question today was simple; the boys were calling out loudly " Here, kitty-kitty-kitty, C'mere Rogue's mom." As they shook a bag on cat treats.

Every once in a while one f the boys would stop a passer-by and ask " Hey have you seen a talking cat that is sometimes this weird blue lady and is our teacher's mom?" They would then shove a poorly drawn picture into they person in question's face.

While their description was both horribly over detailed, it was also extremely vague, as neither boy could actually remember the cat's coloration, or really much of anything about her. This too, was made worse, when Julian insisted on making up the 'Lost Talking Cat' posters himself.

Julian still insisted he was a wonderful artist despite the 'Chupacabra' scare a few months ago, and had drawn the picture himself from memory. When Jamie had offered to go see if anyone had a picture of the cat for reference, Julian had waved him off; but because he couldn't really remember what the cat looked like he had taken 'artistic license' with the picture, resulting in a kind of mushy blob in the center of the poster, that he for some reason had painted green.

Then he had printed on the picture

"Lost-Talking-Cat;

Answers to 'Mom'…I think;

If found please contact…um…Rogue!"

Followed by his own cell phone number.

As they pasted the last of the poster's to a window of a sushi restaurant that had only recently opened, Jamie had another idea. "Julian, if we can find that weird guy who wears the metal helmet, he can tell of where the talking cat is."

"…Why would he know our talking cat?" Julian asked.

"I donno, I think he's married to her, or adopted her, or something." Jamie answered.

"Married to a cat, that is so weird, Wait, does that mean he's Mrs. LeBeau's dad?"

"I donno." Jamie replied with a shrug, he had never asked.

"Well I know where Mr. Lensherr, um Helmet Guy lives." Julian replied. "C'mon."

"Okay. Hey how do you know?"

"I have my sources. Don't tell me how to live my life, you ain't my mom." Julian responded as they walked down the street, narrowly avoiding Logan who had come out of the restaurant, take out bag in hand.

Logan spotted the poster, and recognizing Julian's art work, if not what it was supposed to be, groaned. What was that kid up to this time? He took down one of the posters (that to him looked oddly like a Chinese Dragon) and headed in the direction of the mansion. It looked like his lunch would have to wait, because whatever reason Julian had for looking for Mystique (he assumed, based on the wording above the dragon), it couldn't be good.

~o~O~o~

Julian knocked calmly on the warehouse door, and waited for Bucket Head to answer. A moment later, Magneto opened the door. "Can I help you?"

"Yes. We are looking for that talking cat that I'm pretty sure lives here with you as your pet or wife or something." Julian stated.

"Why do you need to speak to my wife?"

"Because, I'm pretty sure she may know where that Vampire lives." Julian answered as if it was obvious.

"I see. I will help you find my wife, on one condition." Magento stated.

"What is it?" Julian asked.

"Well you see, it's bring your kids to group day, and my kids are for some reason not talking to me, so I need you to pretend to be them. Afterwards, I'll tell you how to find my wife."

"That doesn't sound too terrible." Julian replied, as Jamie nodded.

_ twenty minutes, a fist fight, and much whining later_

"I have never been more embarrassed in my life!" Julian whined once more as they approached the VA room.

"Hush 'Wanda', you'll give us away." Magneto replied. "and stop itching the wig."

" At least your clothes fit you." Jamie whispered as he attempted to adjust Rogue's shirt. " Wait! I thought you had sons too?"

"I do, why?" Magneto asked as they sat down.

The room quickly filled with other former villains and their reluctant children. As the meeting was called to order, the first to stand was Dr. E.

"I would like everyone to meet my son, Remy, who as you can see happily joined me here today." Dr. E stated, gesturing to his guest.

"I think that's that Debbie lady." Jamie whispered.

"I think it may be too." Julian replied, as they watched the poorly disguised embarrassed looking woman stand as well.

"Hey, that's the Vampire, we should talk to him now." Jamie whispered.

"No. We have a plan, and if we alter the plan it won't work out. We have to wait for Helmet Head to tell us where the talking cat is, then ask her where the Vampire is, then we can come back here and talk to him." Julian replied.

"But-"

"It's my plan, I think I would know how it goes." Julian said stubbornly.

By now Magneto had stood, to introduce his 'daughters'. At first neither boy stood, when he had said. " I want everyone to meet my girls, Wanda and Anna." Instead they looked around, wondering where he had spotted the teachers. When he gestured toward them and repeated himself, they remembered.

After the very long, and boring meeting, that seemed to mostly involve Helmet Head and the Vampire arguing over who was the better villain and parent, they followed Helmet Head back to the car.

They returned to the warehouse where Helmet Head called his wife to the door to talk to them.

"Hello, Ms. Cat-Lady." Julian began." Can you please tell me where we can find the Vampire you sometimes argue with?"

"I do not know." Mystique replied. " Ask my husband, they're friends."

"You know where the Vampire lives? Why didn't you say so?"

"You never asked." Magneto replied, now giving them a piece of paper with the address.

With that the boys, still dressed as women, headed in the direction of the address.

~o~O~o~

Logan called a meeting of the teachers as soon as he returned home. Within minutes, Wanda, Jean, John, Piotr, Rogue, Remy, Kitty, and Hank had arrived, children in tow, for the mothers.

Not bothering to wait for the Wilsons, Logan began by slamming the poster on the table. This caused Jean, who was still a little shaky from the tie incident, to scream. " OH MY GOD! IT's A BASILISK!"

"A what?" Piotr asked.

"A Basilisk." Remy replied. " Haven't you seen Harry Potter?"

"No." Piotr said, with a frown.

"It ain't a basawhatever." Logan said. "It's a whatsit that Julian drew."

Stating that Julian drew it, calmed Jean, but caused Remy to tense, this couldn't be good.

"It say's he's lookin for Mystique. Any ideas what he's up too this time?"

Remy relaxed again, whatever he was planning, it was clearly not over their talk earlier, so he shook his head with everyone else. Before Logan could continue, Wade and Emma joined them. Wade took one look at the poster, then turned to Logan.

"WAIT! I THOUGHT WE COULDN'T AFFORD THE IMPORT FEES TO PROTECT THE SCHOOL FROM THE CORPORATE ELVES BY BRINGING IN THE POCKET DRAGONS, BUT THEN YOU TURN AROUND AND LET THE BIGGEST IDIOT IN THE SCHOOL OWN ONE?! THIS IS AN OUT RAGE! I WON'T STAND FOR IT! I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE INSULTED AND DISAPPOINTED IN MY LIFE, NOT EVEN WHEN I HEARD ABOUT THEM TABLING THE MOVIE ABOUT ME! I TOOK THAT ONE HARD TOO, ASK MY WIFE, SHE HAD TO HOLD MY HAND FOR THREE DAYS, I WAS MORE DEPRESSED THAN WHEN BEA DIED! THIS THOUGH THIS IS FAR WORSE THAT ANY MOVIE COMPANY COULD POSSIBLY PULL ON ME AND-"

"It's supposed to be a cat, Darling." Emma interrupted.

"Oh. Okay then, carry on." Wade said calmly as he sat down.

"Moving on." Logan stated, as he turned back to the others.

"What movie?" John asked quietly.

"Oh, not in this world, we never would have seen it anyway." Wade replied.

John nodded as if that made perfect sense, then returned his attention to the new plan.


	7. Conversation with the vampire

**Disclaimer: I do not own X-men Evolution, only Debbie/Amanda and Kaitlyn are my own creation **

**Amusement Parks, Babies,**

**and Brilliant Plans**

_Chapter Seven_

"_Conversation with the vampire"_

Debbie/Amanda answered the door to the boys, and after staring at the way they were dressed for a moment, she let them in. Julian didn't blame her for staring, after all it wasn't everyday that you saw a couple of guys dressed as teenage Goth girls. (Magneto had dressed them in old clothes, his wife would have noticed the newer ones being messed with). The boys themselves were rather miserable in the outfits, but determined to finish their 'mission' before going home to change.

"Can I help you?" She asked.

"Thanks, Debbie. We need to talk to the Vampire." Jamie replied.

"My. Name. is. Amanda. And he isn't a Vampire,I don't think." She replied.

"Why are you working for a vampire anyway? You don't seem like the 'minin' type." Julian added from the corner where he had wandered to stare at Mr. E's pictures.

"He offers great Dental…and he isn't a vampire, he's a mad scientist. They're much creepier."

"To-may-to,To-mah-to." Julian replied with a shrug.

"What do tomatoes have to do with vampires?" Jamie asked.

"What?" Julian asked.

"I donno." Jamie replied.

"Are you two on drugs? Or do you just need to be?" She asked.

"People always say that." Julian replied. "I have no idea why."

"Maybe they just can't handle our awesome." Jamie replied. "Oh! After this we should go to a movie."

"What about the baby?" Julian asked.

"That takes like months. First the girl tells everyone she's having a baby, then everyone freaks out, then she throws up a lot. After that she gets super scary, then the Guy who she decided to let be the Dad gets crazy. After that she eats too much and gets fat, but for some reason everyone is obsessed with her tummy. Finally when she starts screaming, everyone runs around like crazy and then the Stork dumps the Baby in the Garden…we don't have a cabbage patch, I tried to tell Storm we needed one, and the Dr goes and gets the baby, and hands it to the new parents." Jamie replied.

"…Did you listen to me at all when I explained sex?" Julian asked.

"That was far to disturbing to be true, I think you were just messing with me." Jamie replied.

"I fear for a future with you as a father…anyway, let's go talk to Mr.E."

"Who?" Jamie asked.

"The Vampire." Julian said, rolling his eyes.

"He's not a vampire, and he's really bust right now, working on the baby apocalypse." She said with a sigh.

"We decided that was over." Julian replied

"Oh are we bringing that back? The Book was funny." Jamie added.

"Funny?! Really?!" Julian asked, aghast.

"Yeah, it was a great book, and the way they all would walk around with them was funny. Besides the Teacher-Student rulebook isn't nearly as cool. It's just a mass produced paperback with all of the same rules, so I don't see why they changed it." Jamie replied.

"Because, I told them they were crazy and the BA wasn't real."

"ALRIGHT ALREADY! I'll just go get him for you." She interrupted, unable to handle the odd conversation anymore.

The boys smiled happily, and waited while she walked out of the room where she then could be heard loudly stating " Two of the pychos from the school are here."

"My son?" Dr. E. asked.

"No. the stupid, rambling ones." She answered.

"Oh, the Js. I just hope they don't think I kidnapped anyone…again…this week." He replied as he walked into the room.

"Hello boys, is this in regards to the teaching position?" Dr E asked.

"No. We need a favor from you." Julian replied.

"I didn't think so, but I had hoped, I'm soooo close to solving the BA." Dr. E said with a sigh.

"There is no BA anymore." Jamie stated, sadly. He still missed the Book

"How?Who?" Dr E demanded.

"Julian apparently." Jamie replied with a shrug.

"How could you do that?!" Said Julian and Dr E, Julian to Jamie. And Dr E to Julian.

"HOW COULD YOU HAVE DONE THIS TO ME! THE AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL DR. E! YOU DESTROYED MY PLANS, MY WORKS FOR LIKE THREE MONTHS! I HAD SET UP SO MANY THEORIES ABOUT HOW TO PREVENT IT! YOU THINK YOU UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT IT WAS FOR ME!? IT WAS MY JOB, I HAD TO OPENED BACK UP THREE LABS! I EVEN HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT HIRING MY OLD HENCHMEN! I CALLED SABERTOOTH AND ASKED IN TO COME IN NEXT WEEK! Don't tell anyone I told you this. They might count it as 'bad behavior'. Where was I? Oh yes. I ALMOST SOLVED IT! I WAS DECODED THE ANCIENT SCROLL I FOUND IN ROMANIA! I ALMOST UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT GOLD ONE WITH ANCIENT GREEK WRITINGS AND COMPUTER CODING I FOUND IN BRAZIL MEANT! I-I WAS ALMOST DONE! So what did you find, a alien ship or something that told you how to solve it? TELL ME HOW YOU SOLVED IT!"

"I think it had something to do with his garden gnomes…"

"I KNEW IT! I TOLD DEBBIE WE NEEDED TO THINK ABOUT GETTING GARDEN STATUES BECAUSE THEY WISE! I KNEW IT! BUT SHE SAID THAT ANCIENT SCROLLS WOULD PROBABLY BE GOOD ENOUGH! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! We should have been more prepared…YOU! I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANYTHING LEFT TO SAY!"

"Okaaay then." Julian said.

" Now how am I to become a teacher?!" Dr. E demanded.

"Well, you could always marry one of the teachers." Jamie said.

"Brilliant plan! Debbie! GO work for the school." Dr. E said.

"My name's Aman- never mind, yes sir." Debbie replied.

"Well back to the subject on hand, I would like you to make me a baby like you did the LeBeaus so that I can become responsible like Mr. LeBeau, but not die like I would if my girlfriend and I had a baby the normal way an-" Julian began.

"No." Dr. E replied, walking swiftly out of the room, he slammed his office door, followed by a loud crashing noise.

"DEBBIE! MY WHITEBOARDS FELL ON TOP OF ME AGAIN! HEEEEELLLLLPPPP!"

With a sigh, she followed her employer out of the room, and the boys slowly backed out of the house. Clearly this wasn't going to work.

"Well…there's always plan A" Jamie said.

"What's that?" Julian asked.

"Buying a baby."

Julian nodded and the two walked off towards the mansion, with the intent of searching for the baby on the online classifieds.


	8. Realizations and Play dates

**Amusement Parks, Babies,**

**and Brilliant Plans**

_Chapter Eight_

"_Realizations and Play dates"_

The boys returned home, not noticing the suspicious looks they received from the staff, and went straight to Julian's room to look up online classifieds. Meanwhile, Remy was deeply suspicious that Julian may have twisted something he had said, while giving him the 'responsibility' speech earlier…which the more he thought about, the more he decided had come out wrong anyway.

Remy was torn. He wanted to talk to his wife about it and get her opinion; on the other hand, if this was going to go bad, and he assumed it would, it Julian after all, he wanted her to have plausible deniability. He was unsure, so he did the next best thing, in his opinion; he went to talk to John.

He found John and William in the kitchen, and sat down across from them.

"Hey, what's up?" John asked, as he struggled to get the bib on his son.

"I…I think I may have accidentally caused Julian's latest scheme, whatever it is." Remy replied.

"How's that?" John replied, now spooning oatmeal to William.

"I don't know. I don't know what exactly in my speech gave him an idea, but he got that 'light bulb' look, then he and Jamie ran off a couple of hours later." Remy said, placing his head on the table.

"Okay. So what did you say in the speech?" John asked.

"That I was a lot like him, until I became a Dad and then… oh no." Remy said with a groan, as John dropped his spoon with a loud clang, and William began to fuss( over the spoon disappearing).

"You don't think he would do something that stupid do you?" John asked, thinking of Logan's reaction.

"I don't know. But until I do, I'm going to make sure that he stays far away from Laura." Remy replied.

"Maybe we're overeating, after all he ran off with Jamie, not Laura." John said as he retrieved the spoon.

"Yes…but Jamie's the one that tried to buy a baby, remember, that's how we all got roped into that sex-ed class." Remy said, as John once again dropped the spoon. He remembered that class, he still had nightmares over it.

"You go watch Laura! I'll separate the Js." John said as he picked up his now angry son, to head out of the room, when Logan came in.

"What are you up too?" Logan asked, suspicious because of their expressions.

"Play Date." John said quickly.

"Y'know, it isn't a play date if there's only one kid." Logan said.

"…Who said William and Olivier were having the play date? We are." Remy said. Cringing internally over the weak excuse.

"Whatever. " Logan replied as he headed in the direction of the fridge.

The other two slipped quietly from the room before he could say anything else. Remy decided then that he needed both an excuse for occupying Laura, and a better 'play date' excuse for talking with John; so he went and gathered his children from his wife, who thanked him for being so thoughtful as she was really tired, then went in search of the girl.

~o~O~o~

John burst into Julian's room, with a wild expression and his son on his hip. This made they Js scream, both because of the door slamming open unexpectedly and because John was scary when he freaked out. Julian quickly shut his laptop so that John couldn't see what they were searching, as Jamie half-climbed out of the window.

"You two were supposed to be on your chores thirty minutes ago!" John yelled, he had thought of this excuse on his way upstairs.

"I finished." Jamie said, while Julian nodded.

"Julian I want you on the kitchen, now. Jamie you have the attic." John said, ignoring the previous comment.

Both boys protested this loudly, they had already finished their chores for the day, and neither one of them had been assigned the kitchen this week…or the attic. Jamie, in particular, was upset. He hated having to clean the attic. It scared him, it was dark and dingy, and Jamie was pretty sure that Petra (his pet/enemy pizza) had laid eggs up there. When he had told the others this they ignored him. But they had ignored him over Petra too and look what happened!

Julian had asked him when Jamie had first mentioned his belief that Petra had used the attic for a nest, if pizzas actually lay eggs. Jamie had just stared at Julian at the time. So now Jamie went reluctantly to the attic while Julian stomped off toward the kitchen.

Remy, meanwhile had caught up to Laura in the TV room. Laura was watching a program on lions, while she took notes. Remy made a mental note to ask why later.

"Laura, I need to ask you a favor please." Remy said as he came in.

"Yes, sir?"

"I need you to watch Kaitie for me for a little while." Remy replied, while depositing his daughter next to the teenager. " Not too much sugar, no scary programs, and don't let Jamie play with her, if he mentions Pirates or fishing. He can play with her if he plays something safe."

Remy quickly walked out of the room before the girl could respond. He knew that Julian would avoid Kaitie, and that if he had told Laura directly not to talk to Julian, she would have gone in search of him…Remy agreed with Logan, whoever had given her those darn teen magazines needed to be punished.

With the kids safely separated, Remy then went in search of John so that they could find out what Julian was up to.

~o~O~o~

Remy quickly found John still in Julian's room, William playing on the floor at his feet. Remy set Olivier down next to William and sat down next to John to help break the password on Julian's laptop.

"Gardengnomes" Remy said, after a moment.

"Huh?" John said.

"Try Garden gnomes, all as one word. The boy's obsessed with them." Remy answered.

"And that actually worked." John said, typing it in. Remy smirked,as John shook his head. That boy was almost as weird as Wade.

A few minutes later, they reclosed the laptop, completely horrified at the search history. The boys really were planning on getting a baby, which was frightening. Not just because Remy would be blamed, or because Logan would likely freak out all over again, but because this was JULIAN and JAMIE.

Before they could say anything however, Wade came into the room. "What's going on?"

"um…PLAYDATE!" John said.

"Aww, why didn't you say something, I could have grabbed Megan." Wade replied.

"Well we will meet you and Megan downstairs; I'll even grab Kaitie too!" Remy said, as he ushered everyone out of the room. Luckily it had been Wade who had come in, not someone who would question a play date in a dorm room.

Wade quickly ran off to get his stepdaughter; while John promised to collect Kaitie and Remy went to the kitchen to talk to Julian. Julian was in the pantry, mumbling to himself about evil dictator overlords, when Remy walked in.

"Get out here, boy. We need to talk…and bring the baby cookies." Remy said. He then set Olivier in the highchair, where the baby babbled happily.

"What do you need now?" Julian demanded, angry at being forced into an unassigned chore.

"…I know what you're planning." Remy replied, handing his son a 'cookie'.

"What would that be, I'm not up to anything wrong and I haven't-DEAR LORD IS THAT BABY TEETHING?!" Julian said, standing up halfway through the sentence and backing away.

"Not yet, and that reaction is the reason it's a bad idea." Remy replied.

"What's a bad idea?"

"Your plan. You ain't ready."

"You said at my age-"

"No. At your age , I was an idiot. I was eighteen when we got Kaitie." Remy said. "But at your age I wasn't scared of teething babies either…I think you need more time than I did."

"Really, because the babies you knew started fires and blew stuff up?"

Now Remy had to choose. Lie and make the boy realize that he was more mature than the boy was; or the the trurh and have the boy question it…he choose to lie. "Yes, yes I did." Remy replied straight faced.

"Really, who?" Julian asked, not trusting him.

"My cousins' kids. You know this stuff runs in the family." Remy replied, easily.

"Oh yeah…wait I thought you were adopted?" Julian said.

"So's my wife." Remy answered.

"Oh. Yeah." Julian said. Suddenly the idea of a baby seemed like something he should have thought about for longer than a minute, so he decided he needed to spend a few days thinking on it. He told Remy that he was right, it was a stupid plan.

Remy satisfied that he had diverted a possible resurgence of the Baby Apocalypse, went to locate his daughter…which was when he remembered who he had given permission to pick her up, he had to hurry before his little girl ended up someone's side kick traveling up and down the coast, or made national news burning down some state building, or both!


	9. Betrayal!

**Amusement Parks, Babies,**

**and Brilliant Plans**

_Chapter Nine_

"_Betrayal!"_

Dr. E. had thought about it long and hard, while Debbie dug him out from under the whiteboards (again) and had decided that he had the moral obligation to inform his son, and the other teachers of the school, that that foolish boy was trying to get a baby.

So, after he had dusted himself off, and put on his best grey suit, he made his way over to the school, dragging Debbie along. She rolled her eyes, as he ranted about the fate of the world, and how his son would finally loved him and want to join the family business.

"You know, sir, my shift ended a half hour ago." Debbie said, as they climbed out of the car.

"*gasp* DEBBIE! You know I'm paying you overtime, I always do when the whiteboards attack me." Dr. E replied. " Plus, as my girlfriend, you'll receive half of everything I make off of this project."

"I'm not your-okay." She said as they approached the door. Before they could say anything more, Logan yanked it open.

"What are you doing here?! Read the sign, no salesmen!" Logan said. " I'll take seven, and then you have to go…maybe twelve, but that all!"

"LOGAN! No, no shopping!" Rogue said from behind him as Wanda sprayed him with a water bottle. Rogue then turned to the door. " What the hell Logan, they ain't salesmen anyway. That's my crazy father-in-law and his assistant, Amanda."

"Excuse me, but this is my girlfriend, Debbie." Dr. E replied.

"Whatever. What do you want?" Rogue said, she was getting hungry, which added to her short temper when it came to annoying relatives.

"I have the moral obligation to inform you, that just today, two of your students attempted to hire my services to create for them a child. I told them no, of course, but I felt you needed to know about this attempted furtherment of the Baby Apocalypse. I have also been informed, by this same boy, that you are no longer in fear of said Apocalypse, but allow me to point out, that the boy who 'solved' it is the same one attempting to further it. Leading one to believe, that his 'solution' was faked in an attempt to further his own goals. Furthermore, it seems very likely that said child, may indeed be the root of the entire Apocalypse to begin with." Dr. E stated.

"…Are you on medication?" Wanda asked, as Rogue just stared at the man. Logan however, began to growl.

"No. Why do you ask?" Dr. E replied to Wanda, as Logan walked over to the intercom and screamed into it for everyone to come to the foyer.

"Perhaps we should go." Debbie suggested.

"No, Debbie, I must see this through, my love. If you fear the boy though, you may wait in the car." Dr. E replied.

Before she could answer, or move, the entire household had descended onto the foyer.

"WHAT IS THIS I HEAR ABOUT JULIAN BUYING A BABY FROM SINISTER?!" Logan screamed. Remy paled. Rogue glared at her husband, seeing his expression. John attempted to hide behind his wife and son. The other kids tried to look small, Wade and Emma stared open mouthed, Jean laughed and Julian glared at Dr. E

"My name is Dr. E now. Sinister sounds far to evil." Dr. E pouted.

"WHAT ABOUT CONFIDENTIALITY?! I'm so suing you."Julian said.

"You are not my patient, or my client. It does not apply." Dr. E said smugly.

"YOU!" Logan screamed. "YOU MADE ME BURN THE BOOK AND FORGET ABOUT THE DANGER WE WERE IN JUST SO YOU COULD DO THIS DIDN'T YOU?!"

"WAIT! THE BABY APOCALYPSE IS BACK ON?!" Wade screamed, before running from the room to find the old charts.

"I did not! I didn't even think about having a baby until Mr. LeBeau said that having one made him grow up and-"

"DON'T TRY TO PUSH THE BLAME ON SOMEONE ELSE! ESPECIALLY NOT AN OVERWORKED TEACHER TRYING TO HELP YOU! REMY, ANNA, GO PACK! YOU NEED THAT VACATION MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE HERE! Be back next week, please, we need you for exams. I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS BEHAVIOR ANYMORE!" Logan said, Remy and Rogue slipping away before he could change his mind. " You will go to your room and think of all of the damage you have caused, you will not speak to or look at my daughter until you have learned your lesson, and someone please burn every teen magazine in the house before Laura gets anymore ides."

John happily went off in search of magazines to burn, Julian disappeared upstairs with his usual mumbling, Wanda rolled her eyes to follow her husband so that he wouldn't go overboard. The other kids disappeared, Jean slipped away,and Laura continued to glare, unhappy that her boyfriend had not talked to her about his plan.

Logan meanwhile, had calmed down slightly, and had escorted Dr. E and Debbie off the property, before looking around, and asking "Hey where are the LeBeaus?"

~o~O~o~

Remy was happily whistling as he drove down the highway, not only had he dodged the bullet for Julian's foolishness, but he had somehow managed to get permission to take his family on vacation. Kaitie was happily singing in the backseat,she loved car rides, and Oli had already fallen asleep.

Remy glanced over at his wife, and stopped whistling. She was frowning, with her arms crossed, and glaring in his direction. Maybe he hadn't dodged the bullet after all. He attempted to give her his best 'I did nothing wrong' smile…that just seemed to upset her more however. He was trying to figure out how the smile had failed, when she rubbed her slightly protruding belly. _Oh that's right, when she's pregnant, she's overly emotional._ He thought to himself. He would never say that out loud though. Oh no, he had learned that lesson the hard way last time. He'd had a bruise for a week right on his left shoulder.

"Did I do something wrong, Chere?" Remy asked.

"What did you say to that idiot anyway?"

"I told him about how stupid I could be at his age, including when I kidnapped you, and how horrible it was that I did that to you."

"How did he decide that meant he should have a kid?"

"I don't know…he asked me what changed, and I said having Kaitie, and you."

"Hmph" Rogue said, but smiled. "Well that was true, you did a lot of stupid things, you can't really be blamed for that boy being so dumb though."

Remy nodded, relieved that she wasn't mad at him over it. Having a hormonal wife angry with you was not a good start to the first family vacation you've ever had, so he hoped that he could smooth everything over.

Kaitie interrupted then from her seat. " Me godded go potty!"

Remy quickly looked for an off-ramp while Rogue assured the girl everything was okay, even if she had an accident, and mentally cursed not putting the girl in a pull up before they left.

They made it to a gas station, just in time, and Rogue took the girl in, as it became to late, and quickly changed her after Kaitie went potty(again). When they returned to the car, Remy helped hook the girl back up, while Rogue swore that " The kids are wearing pull-ups for every driving trip from now on, I don't care if they're twelve!"

Remy doubted she meant that…or at least that she would actually do that. So he changed the subject by asking her wear she wanted to go.


End file.
